Losing My Favourite Game: ‘Fenton! Fenton! Oh, Jesus Christ!’ with Dave Black

With football now being talked about on television and online in the past tense (unless you’re a fan of the Belarusian Premier League), supporters old and new have been whiling away their time in lockdown with some sweet slices of nostalgia (or history lessons for the youngsters) on the post-1992 origins of the sport. Last […]

Losing My Favourite Game: ‘Que Sera Sera’ with Ketch

The best weekend in the English football calendar is among us. Yes, it’s time for commentators up and down the land to dust off their book of cliches, time for pundits to crank their condescension switches to maximum, and supporters of every club outside the top six to begin dreaming of a heroic run to […]

Premier League 2018/19 Season Review

That’s it. That’s the season. 380 games, 1,072 goals and one black cat later, and Manchester City have only gone and won the blummin’ thing again. There were things to savour despite the predictable denouement however; Liverpool’s endless pursuit, Tottenham’s squatting rights, Manchester United (general), Watford being good, actually? The return of Brendan, Neil Warnock […]

Venezuelan Train. Premier League Week 12 Hitters & Shitters.

The worlds of politics and football reached peak 2018 this week as, in the UK, Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab publicly revealed that he had only just realised the importance of the Dover-Calais crossing for trade into the country. Just to reiterate, the person responsible for engineering the United Kingdom’s exit from the European Union didn’t […]

TV Party. Premier League Week 11 Hitters & Shitters.

After an emotionally charged week in the world of football, in which a city mourned the sudden passing of its beloved club owner, a farcical reality check arrived just in time for the weekend, as proposals for an oft-slated European Super League were leaked by German publication Der Speigel. The leak revealed that a clutch […]

Fantastic Mr. Fox. Premier League Week 10.

Football paled into insignificance this weekend, as a heart-wrenching tragedy unfolded at the King Power Stadium following Leicester City’s match with West Ham United. As he does after every home match, Foxes owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha boarded his private helicopter in the centre of the pitch along with two business associates and two flight crew. Moments after […]

Cold As Ice: Premier League Week 8 Hitters & Shitters

Here at TLF Towers, we believe a change is as good as a rest, which is why, rather than taking a week on the Norfolk Broads, we’re revamping our Premier League round-up. Each week we’ll be looking at the big hitters from the weekend’s action, and also pointing and smirking at the players, managers, owners […]

Maddison Avenue: Premier League Week Six Talking Points

We are living in a time of spin. Whether it’s a football manager turning a 3-0 home defeat into a reminder of how many league titles they’ve won, or the right-wing press turning the incompetence of a nation’s leader into a show of strength and steel, we can no longer judge anything at face value. […]

Smarm Offensive: How Mike Ashley is Losing the Propaganda War Against The Toon Army.

“If Big Sam sent a team out to play like this he’d get hammered. This isn’t Newcastle. Toon fans I know would rather lose 5-4 than win 1-0 like this.” For those of you playing along, that’s a full house for Lazy Outdated Stereotypes About Newcastle United Supporters. The author of that missive was, of […]

The Lost Art of Keeping a Clean Sheet: Premier League Week 2 Talking Points

For those of you reading this just days after flunking your A-Levels, it’s worth remembering that for every morale-boosting pearl of wisdom handed down on social media from D-List celebrities that claim they found success after failing their exams, there are a hundred people that have perished in the gutter because they didn’t bother re-reading […]