Premier League 2019/20 Season Preview

Ah shit, here we go again… After a summer where the football never really ended, but the world’s chances of a prosperous future took a severe nosedive; where puce-faced men vented their spleens at the arrogance of the US Women’s national team and, with no hint of irony, talked up their chances of giving Serena […]

As You Were: Premier League Week One Talking Points

*Extremely Jeremy Corbyn on his return to parliament following the 2017 General Election voice* We’re back - and we’re ready to do it all over again. You can have your Benjamin Pavard screamers and your Iranian somersault throw-ins. Keep your German exits and your England penalty shootout wins. Because Southampton 0-0 Burnley on a drizzly […]

Premier League 2018/19 Season Preview

Summer romances are all well and good, but after a blistering month of sunshine and superb football, Russia has become little more than a speck in the distance (and a severe threat to global democracy) as the domestic season gears up to start all over again. The decision to move the closure of the transfer […]

Signal Thirtieth. Premier League Week 30 Review.

On a weekend that Sky Sports optimistically billed ‘Rivalry Weekend’, all twenty Premier League sides were in action ahead of FA Cup Quarter Finals and International fixtures that provide the last break in the season before the final run-in. For a handful of sides, this weekend’s fixtures were crucial to securing the psychological advantage of […]

Twenty-Ninth Sunday In Ordinary Time. Premier League Week 29 Review.

The Foreign Secretary this week demonstrated his nous for such an integral role in the British government by waving away concerns over the impact of Brexit on the Irish border by plucking the nonsensical comparison of London boroughs out of the air. “There is no border between Islington, Camden and Westminster. There is no border between Camden and […]

PL25: 2-4-6-8 Gareth Southgate (2007/08)

The 2017/18 season celebrates 25 years of the Premier League. To mark the occasion we’ll be taking a look at some of the more off-kilter moments from each season. After a fairly mediocre season for both Middlesbrough and Manchester City in 2007/08, the two sides met on the final day in a meaningless end-of-season fixture, […]

Twenty-Seventh Seal. Premier League Week 27 Review.

The arid wasteland of January is now a distant memory, and a year jam-packed full of sporting goodness is well underway. The Winter Olympics in South Korea, currently being dominated by Germany, have already given us the unforgettable sight of the North Korean Figure Skating Ultras haunting the dreams of all who regard them, their […]

Comrade’s Twenty-Sixth. Premier League Week 26 Review.

With the transfer window now closed, the Premier League returned to normal service this weekend, with plenty of managers undoubtedly experiencing that sinking feeling you get when you come home from the shops and realise you’ve forgotten to pick something up. Antonio Conte probably meant to get some stationery so he could draft his letter […]

PL25: Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce que c’est? (2004/05)

The 2017/18 season celebrates 25 years of the Premier League. To mark the occasion we’ll be taking a look at some of the more off-kilter moments from each season. Having stepped up from his role as Assistant Manager, Stuart Pearce suddenly found his Manchester City side within touching distance of Europe at the end of […]

Twenty First Century Digital Boy. Premier League Week 21 Review.

As the book closes on another dreadful year, we’ve a chance to reflect on everything that has gone on around the world in the past twelve months and wonder ‘can it really get any worse?’. From Donald Trump’s inauguration, to seemingly endless terror attacks, from the Manchester bombing to Grenfell Tower and natural disasters across […]